I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
