But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
