Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
