He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
ttyl tear gas
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
