Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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