Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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