i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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