U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
