We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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