So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
