no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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