how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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