Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
