wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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