Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
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