My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
