what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
