Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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