He disabled his match.com account in front of me
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
