I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
