Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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