Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Sorry my hands just texted you
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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