so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
