oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm just crazy horny about you
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just pee around me
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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