He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
