I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
