I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
