This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
