Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
