Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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