So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
