dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
