just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
