We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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