using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
