Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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