Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
