I just saw a hot homeless man
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
