WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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