He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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