just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
