that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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