Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
