Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
