i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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