I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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