You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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