If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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