Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
