no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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