yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
