I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
