She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
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It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
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scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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