did you get engaged???
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
