i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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