When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
