No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
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