I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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