"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
