Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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