I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
