Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
no you cant smoke seaweed
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
