i may or may not be watching the land before time
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
